Does a story need romance?
If you're writing a book, short story, or a graphic novel, you’ve probably wondered or asked yourself, “does this need a romance in it?” Unless of course you're writing a love story and then the answer is obvious. But whether or not you have one in any story you make is a big deal, and in this blog I’ll explain why. I felt a need to write this blog because my sister and I do not like romance films or books (typically) and we usually despise Rom-Coms. And, typically we think most romances in movies and shows are secular, stupid, and superficial. So then I had to ask myself, why is there romance in almost everything I write? The answer to that question is the answer to this article's title. Let’s dive in.
What do we mean when we say love?
This is going to sound incredibly cheesy but any good story, and most assuredly the greatest, have love. Now this doesn't mean boy meets girl love. The greatest love of all is agape (selfless love) which can be displayed through a number of relationships, though no good relationship can exist without it. To give you a brief summary:
Eros is sexual desire, physical love and passion.
Philia is friendship, brotherly or sisterly love and fondness.
Agape, as referred to by C.S. Lewis as the “gift love” is selfless and seeks not its own.
As you can probably guess, both of the first two loves can be selfish if they aren't rooted in Agape. Passion can be entirely self-serving. People could be very passionate about their extramarital lover right before they break it off and have to murder them so that their spouse doesn’t know. A man can be so passionate about a woman that he can’t imagine her with anyone but him…so he’s possessive and ends up killing her. That’s why we have the term, “Crime of passion.” Have you ever heard anyone say the crime of Agape? No. If you have, I'm really curious as to what that entails.
Even friendship becomes selfish if friends aren't putting the other one first. You can be great friends with someone but if you want them all to yourself and you care about your own needs being met more than theirs, once again–selfish love. Since Agape is so broad and so important it is imperative it be in all works of fiction in some way. These are our definitions. Now why is it important to include some or all of these things in fiction?
You miss a large portion of the world when you don’t:
Understand, this isn't saying all stories MUST have romance because some great ones don’t. My favorite Disney heroine (and possibly favorite film) is Mulan. The romance is barely there and not really pivotal to the story. However, there is such a thing as a universal language; and when you write fiction you want to write elements that personally speak to people. The many universal languages include:
Love (in all its definitions, familial, friendship, physical and selfless).
Revenge (everyone understands the Count of Monte Cristo).
Suffering (everyone knows pain and we sympathize with people immersed in it).
Dreamers (everyone loves a good success story or someone with hopes of a better life).
Heroes (everyone loves the people willing to teach us how to hold on and do good despite odds)
There are many more, but most are encompassed in those. What I’m driving at is that by speaking one of these universal languages you connect with viewers; and we can’t pretend that love by any definition isn't one of the largest. Most everyone understands a character acquiring knowledge and skills to kill their enemies out of revenge, but the same could be said when two characters lock eyes and can’t stop thinking about each other–audiences understand. Millions of poems have filled thousands of books with thoughts, emotions, and feelings associated with love for centuries and even more people are trying to articulate it today.
One of the reasons Shakespeare was such an excellent playwright is because he understood what motivated people. All of those universal languages: love, revenge, suffering are tools he employs in his characters whether they be heroes or villains. Even the best revenge stories are motivated by the loss of loved ones. In Braveheart 1995 what motivates the hero, William Wallace to battle tyranny is when the British kill his wife. Is it a story about freedom? Absolutely. But that willingness to sacrifice all and reclaim freedom, the last straw broken which triggers all the heroes actions, is the loss of his loved one. No one has to explain to viewers to understand or sympathize when a character loves someone and the story rips them away tragically. So it’s a massively understood universal language that most great tales have.
Now as I said, not all tales must have it, but even Mulan 1998, which I mentioned earlier, has a form of love which leads her to enter the war as a man. Mulan only goes to war to save her father, not for glory or recognition but to protect a loved one. This is another universal language–the love for a father. And showing us this pulls us into the story.
Every good work of fiction needs a strong emotional pull and some form of love is always necessary for this, romantic love just happens to be one of the most popular.
What does adding romance do for the story?
Presume there’s a work of fiction and a character joins a perilous setting filled with other characters. I’d feel a little on the outside of the whole scene unless there’s something to emotionally pull me in. Like most people, I step into the main character's shoes when I’m reading a story and follow along. Now, if there’s a perilous journey I’m wondering why the main character is in this mess. But, if the main character grows emotionally attached to someone in that group of characters or falls in love with them, now I have to be attached because there's investment. I know the main character can’t just walk away because this person they care for is there, and now there’s stakes to what could affect the main character if something happens to that person. Take it a step further and say the circumstances and the setting don’t allow the main character to be romantically involved with whoever they’ve fallen in love with. Now I’m really wondering (if they're both good characters, because let's face it that's where the intrigue starts) how things will turn out.
What this hypothetical situation is driving at is that romance, if done well, must add something to the story. Having a guy like a girl in a sub plot with no weight doesn't do anything for me. I want weight to be added to circumstances in the story and a wrench thrown in the plot as a result of the relationship. It forces reactions and tough decision making out of other characters which is always good to see. A not so great example of this in my opinion is the way the romance between Anakin and Padme was done in the Star Wars prequels. Characters in the movies don’t seem to address Anakin's forbidden interest in the senator and Padme doesn't see all the red flags from his behavior or address them. She marries him while he seems out of control, damaged, and has a borderline personality disorder. This was a missed opportunity to have both characters react in ways that made sense but added tension to the plot. If Padme had addressed Anakin’s behavior and struggled with whether or not to be with him (it doesn’t look to me like she does) it would have been better. Obi-Wan should have been striving to keep them apart and to send someone else to protect her besides Anakin, but it feels like the plot works to get them together and the characters just go with it. That's a not so great example, but a good example would be in Wonder woman 2018.
The romance in Wonder woman not only provides emotional investment but it ends up defining the whole theme for the film. Diana decides the world is worth saving because of love. The world isn't perfect but she knew a good man in the world who loved her and by experience she’s seen that there are people worth fighting for. Steve Trever was the better side of humanity that gave her hope and faith in mankind's redemption.
If you remove the romance from that story the film suddenly loses all of its meaning.
The same could be said of a totally different film, Rocky 1976. The entire point of the film after our hero goes the distance is the lady he loves says she loves him. We aren't even told in the famous final scene who won the fight between Rocky and Apollo and it’s been a 2 hour film leading up to the boxing match, but that isn't the point of the film. At that point who won doesn't matter because Adrian loves Rocky. And no one debates that being one of the most famous scenes in film history.
Once again, not everyone can understand being a warrior like Wonder Woman or a poor boxer like Rocky but everyone can understand their motives regarding the person they love.
Final say:
In a nutshell, this is what I’d suggest considering when you're deciding if or why a story needs romance. For my sister and I, it’s never really a question of if romance will be in the story but what kind? Because, as you’ve probably seen from this blog, it can be an extremely helpful and motivating literary tool and it's typically involved in most of the great works of fiction. When I write a book I like to include all the great themes and elements which I feel play a role; and romance, like family, pain, revenge, and hope is a theme which can make a story more compelling when done right.
Again it isn’t a MUST but I choose to weave it in. What kind of love does your story have and what do you think it needs?
-Jubilee
