In the bell test episode, after Kakashi announces they all passed, Sakura blurts out, “All I did was faint and pass out. You get points for that?” This got a hearty laugh out of my eldest brother. But, in the show, Sakura does seem to get points for doing nothing and I would like to know why? Sakura is whiney, boy-crazed, violent with the wrong people, and completely irrelevant to the plot. For this review, I will be sticking to the events of the first show and not what happens in Shippuden. I can’t wait to talk about this character’s flaws so let’s get to it! 

The holes in Sakura’s character can be summed up in two broad categories: Her so-called love for Sasuke and Her lack of Agency as a character. 

Sakura’s so-called love for Sasuke: (My sister defined real love in one of her blogs on our website. If you haven’t read it, go check it out.) Sakura displays no real love for Sasuke. In her behavior, she resembles any other obsessive fan girl from school who fawns over Sasuke for no reason, I guess, other than he’s cute and too cool for school.   

• She knows absolutely nothing about him, not even his reason for existing (REVENGE). 

• Everyone at school knows about the massacre of the Uchiha clan, except Sakura. She’s so clueless as to where he’s coming from she even makes fun of Naruto for not having a family to raise him, totally unaware of how and why this would piss Sasuke off. Even though this also just makes her look like a brat because its insensitive to criticize a child for not having parents in the first place. This could be a growing moment but Sakura continues to mock Naruto and be oblivious to Sasuke’s tragic past and vengeful motives.

• When Sasuke reveals his dream for the future (restoring his clan and killing someone), all Sakura can think about is how hot he is, which reaffirms the shallow fangirl theory. 

• During the bell test, when Sasuke tries to tell her how important it is for him to pass, she has no clue what he’s talking about. (Because she wasn’t listening when they talked about themselves.) If Sakura loves him so much why doesn’t she listen when he talks to be sensitive to his tragic past? It makes all her feelings superficial and materialistic like every other girl who likes Sasuke. She doesn’t seem to care about him she’s just infatuated.

-There’s no reason for her to love Sasuke. People often say you don’t need a reason to love someone, but you do. I’m not talking about selfless love which you can show everyone. I’m talking about why in the world would you want to be with someone romantically who treats you like garbage? There’s a reason you choose to like someone. Why does Sakura like Sasuke?

• Sasuke does not return Sakura’s affections. He ignores her, tells her she’s annoying, and in one episode leaves her to drown and Naruto has to save her. When she brings him food in the Hospital, after the Chunin Exams, he slaps her hand away and knocks the food to the floor.  

• Even if Sakura was willing to love him despite the way he treated her, why is she okay with him treating everyone badly? She never scolds him for his behavior to her or others. He’s proud, arrogant, and often a jerk to everyone he’s around. It says a lot about Sakura if she’s loving him for his bad behavior because he rarely has any good behavior. This isn’t real selfless love, though. It’s Sakura selfishly wanting Sasuke because she thinks he’s cute and enjoys being treated badly. 

-If Sakura truly loved Sasuke, she would’ve tried to contend with him more in his best interest. 

• She might have taken it when Sasuke treated her badly but stood up for others and put him in his place when he got out of line. Naruto does this and Sasuke respects him because of it. Sakura shouldn’t worship Sasuke’s every move. No teenage boy needs or deserves this and it won’t help them grow any. She also has no problem getting aggressive with people who don’t deserve it.  

• When Sasuke is going to leave the village, Sakura begs him in tears telling him she loves him instead of fighting to keep him in the village like Naruto does later. If you really loved someone and you knew they were going to do something harmful to themselves, you wouldn’t just stand there and beg them not to–you would try to prevent them from going and doing it. What’s even worse, is after telling him how he can’t abandon everyone that cares about him for revenge, she offers to go with him (abandoning everyone she cares about for him). This is not love! This is selfish desire. Sakura wants to be with Sasuke so much she’s willing to join him in doing the wrong thing if it’s what he wants. (This is not genuinely caring about the other person and putting what is best for them above your feelings. It’s the exact opposite). 

Sakura Has No Agency as a Character: Every good character has a pivotal backstory, an ongoing goal, and something they contribute to the story. Sakura holds a zero in each of these categories. 

-Sakura has no tragic backstory, unlike Naruto and Sasuke.

We don’t even see either of her parents in the first show and we hear nothing about her family or upbringing. Basically, she has no relevant backstory. She seems to come from a nice home with caring parents. That’s it. We get no flashbacks, other than her childhood relationship with Ino, which I’m going to get into right now. 

• Sakura’s one claim to having a backstory is that when she was a child she supposedly had a big forehead and got comments about it from other classmates. This made her insecure so Ino stood up for Sakura and became her only friend. They had a falling out after learning they both had a crush on Sasuke. This doesn’t make Sakura look good, though, since she’s to blame for their friendship falling apart. Ino stood up for her and protected her in school but when Sakura learns they both like the same boy, she tells Ino they’re rivals and not friends anymore (even though Ino had a crush on Sasuke first). This makes Ino the one to pity with every right to be at odds with Sakura. Sakura looks, once again, selfish and petty. 

-Sakura has no goal (other than to date Sasuke).

She wants to pass the bell test so she can stay with Sasuke and she wants to pass the Chunin Exams so she can stay with Sasuke. You get her complex pattern of thought? 

I will address the one time Sakura almost experienced character growth in the Chunin Exams. When Sakura cut her hair off and got the living daylights kicked out of her to save Sasuke and Naruto, I liked her. She addressed all my issues with her in that scene: 

-She’s been useless while Naruto and Sasuke do all the fighting 

-She beats up on Naruto despite him being more capable than her 

-And she claims to love Sasuke but never does anything to prove it 

In that scene, Sakura proved that when pressed she wasn’t just helpless, she would fight and defend her friends even at the expense of her life. It should have been an upward climb from there, she should’ve gotten progressively better as a character and a ninja. The problem was, after this episode she didn’t move forward like I thought she would. She simply backtracked, returning to the same flaws she had before. 

-Sakura doesn’t contribute anything to the story.

She’s not connected to anyone in the story, she’s useless in a fight, and whenever she’s tested she has plot protection. 

• Other than her rivalry with Ino over Sasuke and Naruto having a crush on her, which contributes more to the character of Ino and Naruto than it does Sakura, she doesn’t have much presence in the show.   

• Whenever there’s fighting to be done, you can count on Sakura to stand there and do nothing. When a squad is put together to bring Sasuke back to the village, Sakura (who’s supposedly madly in love with him) doesn’t go with them. For a whole season, Sakura spends it trying to revive a dead fish…This was an attempt to make her more useful by practicing medical jutsu. 

• In the Chunin Exams, Sakura fights the one person who holds back and won’t wipe the floor with her–Ino. Every other opponent would have killed her, so conveniently she gets her former best friend who doesn’t try. Honestly, I think Ino won the fight even though they declared it a draw. Ino thought three steps ahead and Sakura had no defense other than being able to kick Ino out of her mind which almost no other character is able to do from just sheer willpower. 

  The level of plot armor Sakura has is sickening. Naruto has to comment Ino is more annoying than Sakura, and Ino has to lose the fight despite her being ahead of Sakura in talent and training. It’s like we’re told by characters in the show to think Sakura is less annoying than she is. Naruto is constantly crushing on Sakura and never complains when she beats him up or acts like a maniac. Rock Lee praises her to no end (for no reason). Rock Lee is miles out of Sakura’s league and yet the show writers have him throw himself at her and get rejected. Sakura is also a witch to Lee when he asks her out and no one points it out or criticizes her for it. Kakashi babies her and doesn’t push her as much as he does Naruto and Sasuke. All in all, the fearsome cherry blossom is a crazy fangirl with plot protection who couldn’t fight her way out of a wet paper bag. She wants to be Mrs. Sasuke Uchiha, but her odds don’t look too good so far.