“How did they make a character who started out so dislikeable so loveable” isn't a catchy title for an article otherwise that would have been what I said. My sister and I didn’t know what we were getting into with this show, and one of the biggest first surprises to us was this character getting a sympathetic backstory. Now I’m completely simping and can't imagine not loving the guy, but when I first started the show I can’t pretend that's how I felt.

The devil is in the details:

After having gotten through Itachi’s story arc nearly nothing would surprise me in this show, but when Gaara’s was happening I was only 3 seasons in and still learning how Naruto worked. The brilliance of the show comes in looking back more than forward. What do I mean by that? When Gaara first appeared he’s with his two older siblings and yet they were both scared to death of him. He walks around like death and isn't afraid of anything because nothing has ever touched or hurt him in his entire history as a Genin. My sister and I’s initial reaction to him was: he’s a little psychopath. Gaara has a hungry look in his eye all the time and kills other Genin in the Chunin exams because he says, “I don’t like the way they looked at me.” No other character (who's presumably supposed to be a ninja and not an antagonist) at this point had acted so terrifying and was willing to slaughter anyone who bothered him. Hannah and I thought he was a nutcase who liked hurting people and was always going to be pure evil. However, much like with Itachi, looking back there were several tells as to the true nature of Gaara’s story and the way he was. Looking back (since we rewatched the Chunin exams recently) I can see all the signs that there was more to Gaara than just being a bloodthirsty psychopath:

• Why are Gaara’s two older siblings scared to death of him? Why do they seem concerned for his safety (at least Tamari does when he's hurt) but they don’t seem close at all?

• Gaara has an angry and hungry look about him all the time but there’s more to it than that. When he wants to kill the man for looking at him wrong it reveals a deep rooted self-consciousness which he has from the trauma of how he was viewed in the past. People looking at him like he’s a freak is triggering to him.

• Gaara tries to kill Rock Lee even after he beats him in a match and there’s nothing to be gained. The action is seemingly motivated by Gaara seeing Rock Lee’s trainer, Guy Sensei, show care for Lee and save his life. The action of love for someone else doesn’t make sense to Gaara, and in his head he has quick flashes of himself as a child and then the images shatter–something Hannah and I didn't understand the first time. The action of loving someone is a grievous insult to Gaara because no one ever loved him, and he holds deep resentment for it.

If we’d had the proper facts, his actions following that would have made sense. However, from Gaara’s speech to Naruto and Shikamaru most of it is clear. He states he loves only himself, lives for only himself, and exists for one purpose: to kill and bring pain to others because it's all he’s ever known. He states this before he tries to kill Rock Lee, so you can understand my sister and I not liking him. Make no mistake, Gaara was an antagonist who needed to change and to be defeated when he was in his pre-redemption bloodthirsty mode. But, in light of his backstory, if he’d turned out to be anything else other than a bloodthirsty hater of mankind, it wouldn't make sense.

The reason behind Gaara’s hatred for mankind: 

The minute I started to see baby Gaara in the theme song for season 3 I was like, “No, no, they are not going to make me feel sorry for this guy!” The minute baby Gaara tried to give a ball back to a bunch of brats who ran from him and called him, “freak!”—I already wanted to give him a hug. If you're going to write a conflicted villain (which is kind of how Gaara starts the show) and you want them to be sympathetic, it’s key that they aren't the villain of their own backstory. If you write me a character whose life is garbage because they were a garbage person, I don’t feel bad for them. This was done in Demon Slayer with one of the demons who for some reason, I got a whole backstory episode of a demon who seemed like a garbage person to start. He chose to be a demon and kill innocent people to stay alive but I’m supposed to feel sorry for him…no. I don’t. Gaara, however, was a victim from birth. 

• Gaara was the third born and last child of the Kazekage of the Sand village. His father wanted a vessel strong enough to contain the one tailed Shukkaku demon so he would have a weapon against other villages. The first two children, Tamari (Gaara’s eldest sister) and Konkuro (his older brother), were not strong enough so the demon was sealed in Gaara as an infant. The action kills Gaara’s mother in childbirth; but, because Gaara was raised to believe he was a monster, he thinks that it was him who killed her and takes blame. 

• Gaara is treated like a poison and a freak by the people of the sand village all through childhood. His siblings aren't allowed to be close with him and ignore him like the plague, his father treats him coldly, and the village children scorn him even when he tries to be kind to them. 

• Gaara’s only friend is Yashamaru, his uncle on his mother’s side who's practically raising him. Yashamaru claims to care for him and tries to teach him about love and family. 

• Gaara tries harder to extend a hand to those of the sand so they won’t be afraid of him (as per Yashamaru’s advice) and in turn is only treated more cruelly. In tears Gaara laments why he has to suffer this way and live such a miserable life, only to be attacked by a masked assassin who tries to kill him. Gaara’s sand kills the assassin and he discovers that the man who tried to kill him is none other than Yashamaru, the only one who’s ever claimed to care for him. Yashamaru tells Gaara he never loved him and that he hated him because he’s the child who made his sister die giving birth. From that point on, Gaara hates everyone and chooses to care for nothing ever again as the only thing which makes sense in life is pain.

This story arc was a tear jerker, but also an incredibly rough one because it made so much sense as to why Gaara was as sadistic as he is when Naruto first meets him. When I saw it the first thing which went through my mind was Mary Shelly’s, Frankenstein. In that novel, the creature poses the question: why do I owe mankind more benevolence than they've shown to me? And it's valid. If the only thing someone knows from their existence is that the world hated and scorned them, making them wish they’d never been born in the first place, why would they value human life or believe they have any moral responsibility to mankind? This is key because it means all of the misery that was inflicted upon Gaara wasn't his fault from the beginning, he tried being good to others and was met with hatred. It doesn't make Gaara’s actions right but it shows he was in deep need of benevolence throughout his whole childhood and never got it. This is where Naruto comes in and it's one of the reasons I still love the guy.

The character who actually says what needs to be said:

So many times, when there’s a character like Gaara who has a distorted world view and believes that because everyone is cruel then he’s allowed to hate and kill whoever he wants–I think he needs someone to talk to him. That might sound crazy but what I love about this show is it actually works. Granted, Naruto talks while they are fighting to the death but in the long run it still works. Gaara was so shaken when he saw Guy Sensei step in to protect Rock Lee it made me think, “Has anyone ever shown this person compassion?”

Naruto is the only character powerful enough to last in a fight against Gaara long enough to actually explain friendship, love, and compassion which eventually does change his heart. 

• Gaara is fighting Naruto to the death over wanting to kill Sasuke, and he doesn't understand why Naruto is protecting him so much. When Naruto explains that he was just like Gaara, hated for being a Jinchuriki and scorned by the whole village, but that he found a family with squad 7 so he now loves them and will do anything for them–Gaara doesn't know how to respond.  

• This is the classic hero and villain have nearly the same backstory, but the villain resolved to get angry with the world and return hatred for hatred. The hero resolved that they wouldn't be what the world expected of them and still felt an obligation to mankind and doing what's right. Naruto didn't let the village turn him into the monster they thought he was, he proved them wrong. Seeing this truly inspires and convicts Gaara that he’s been wrong in hating the world, and he needs to be more like Naruto, no matter what people think of him. Then we get one of the best moments in the series when Tamari and Konkuro show up to carry away an injured Gaara, and their little brother says, “I’m sorry.” Tamari and Konkuro look at each other horrified like, “What just happened?” The rest of Gaara’s repentance arc is offscreen for a while, but ever since that fight with Naruto we know he has an upward progression because in Shippuden when we meet him again Gaara is a completely different person.

The post redemption Gaara and the clear difference:

I don’t like redemption arcs where the person seems basically the same and clinging to their old sins but acting like a different person because now they “help the good guys.” Examples of this would be Regina Mills from Once upon a time and Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

• Regina means ill to Snow white and her whole family, tries to ruin their lives repeatedly and never admits that it was wrong for most of the series. She kills Snow white, Prince Charming, and intends to kill their newborn baby in the first episode, but she defends this continually by saying “they ruined my life.” Even though her reasons are flimsy and weak at best. Regina changes to the good side basically because she wants to be in Henry’s life and date Robin. She never repents or looks guilty for what she did, she only looks like she wants to change so that she can have her “happy ending” and get what she wants.  And she expects everyone to treat her differently and like she's entitled to their forgiveness. 

• Spike changes sides because he wants to be with Buffy later on. But once again, no genuine repentance for what he’s done and no change of heart. Spike never feels guilty for all the people he’s killed, or all the times he’s tried to kill Buffy and her friends. He just joins up with the Scooby gang because he wants to date Buffy now. And he reserves the right to be angry at her when she rebuffs him or is disgusted by him even though she has every right to be.

A genuine sign of repentance is someone who knows how much they’ve been forgiven, so they know how guilty they were and expect nothing from anyone. They know grace and forgiveness is a gift, and it’s undeserved. Someone who’s genuinely had a change of heart knows they’ve done terrible things, and that it will take time to trust them again so they won’t point a finger and say, “Why aren't you good with me? I deserve your forgiveness!” cough* like Regina. Because they don’t deserve forgiveness, no one does. What I love about Gaara is when he has a change of heart he knows the severity of everything he's done, he never expects forgiveness or love from anyone once he’s changed. Rock Lee doesn't hold what Gaara did in the Chunin exams against him, because the match was till one submitted or died. But Gaara knows that he went too far in crippling him and in later trying to take his life, he feels guilt for it and returns to save Lee from Kimimaro. Lee says he can handle it himself, and it’s the first time he’s seen Gaara since the Chunin exams–but Gaara recalls the pain he caused Lee and insists on fighting Kimimaro himself. There's a clear difference as blatant as day and night between when Gaara was bad and when he’s good.

Gaara’s growth to being Kazekage in Shippuden:

Seeing how Gaara acts in Shippuden after his redemption arc was one of the best things to me about the first season of the second series. It shows how someone who’s genuinely been forgiven much and given a second chance acts. Gaara assumes the role of a servant as Kazekage of the sand and puts himself lower than everyone else. He doesn’t expect recognition, love or appreciation from his people he simply acknowledges its his duty to serve them and make amends for the monster he was in the past. Gaara has a speech to his brother Konkuro about how he hopes to redeem himself from his past actions, and that Naruto was what inspired his change of heart. Naruto has nearly the exact same backstory as Gaara, but he didn’t curse all of mankind and become a villain, instead he chose to prove people wrong and become a hero, even if he got nothing in return. Gaara is moved by this and therefore opens Shippuden with the idea that if he can protect, serve, and prove he’s no longer a monster—maybe someday he’ll mean something to someone as Naruto does to his new team/family. In the opening of the first season of Shippuden, Gaara spends nearly the first 8 episodes fighting Deidara of the Akatski to protect the sand village, he does it even though Konkuro tells him the people of the sand still distrust him and some believe he’s a monster. Gaara spends most of the remainder of the season unconscious while everyone else is struggling to rescue him from the Akatski. But when Gaara awakes and sees his people and others actually cared enough to rescue him, he’s in complete shock and disbelief. Part of Gaara’s redemption is that he was humbled and brought low by realizing he had been a villain. He knows a second chance isn't deserved and neither is recognition but he’s humbly fighting to be worthy of it. It’s compelling to me when you instantly know the difference between a character pre and post redemption, because they really are a different person if the story writes it well.